- Curt's List -
Curt's List
Tulsa,
curtfill
Curt's Grins
Here's some of my own 99% (slightly 'bent') made-up humor that my peeps seem to,... enjoy,...??
- - Douche-claimer - -
NOT intended for children,... or douchebags with no sense of humor.
If you are a child, a child with no sense of humor,...a douchebag,...a douchbag with no sense of humor,
or - God Forbid - a douchebag WITH a child & you BOTH have no sense of humor,...and you're STILL reading,.... ??
STOP WHERE YOU ARE - QUIT READING - AND RETURN TO THAT LAME, RE-RUN OF "BJ & The Beer" !!
Tonight's Fifty Three Week Animal
Planet Miniseries Presentations;
"When Snails Attack - Part 36" &
"Vicious Maneating Three Toed Sloths -
Part 18", With: "Deadly Stampeding Turtles -
Part 29" is Being Brought to You Along With
The Following Grocery List of Amusing
Treats & Tasty Entrees of Near-Gafaws
by These - Never, EVER,,, Even THINK
About Flossing - Sponsors:
Planet Miniseries Presentations;
"When Snails Attack - Part 36" &
"Vicious Maneating Three Toed Sloths -
Part 18", With: "Deadly Stampeding Turtles -
Part 29" is Being Brought to You Along With
The Following Grocery List of Amusing
Treats & Tasty Entrees of Near-Gafaws
by These - Never, EVER,,, Even THINK
About Flossing - Sponsors:
New CBS Hit:
CSI Wal-Mart
CSI Wal-Mart
Liev Meebe's Anti-Social Security
Clear Plastic Walls & Privacy Fences
Clear Plastic Walls & Privacy Fences
Sunglasses by Squint Eastwood
Chub Woody's Incredibly Devoted,
Stimulus Funded, 5 Year, Late Night,
College Sorority Studies on
Dirty, Unsafe Sex - With People
Named Chub.
Stimulus Funded, 5 Year, Late Night,
College Sorority Studies on
Dirty, Unsafe Sex - With People
Named Chub.
Spackle Bumlipp's Invisible Snapshot Collection
of Naughty Fantasy Football Cheerleaders
of Naughty Fantasy Football Cheerleaders
ABC's EXTREME, Extreme Makeover - Ho Edition
Bastard Robbin's - "One Flavor" Ice Cream Stores
Coach Chuck's "No More Smelly Balls"
Scented Dodgeball Wipes
Scented Dodgeball Wipes
Skanky Carla's Crab Patties
Honest Gabe's LaundryCats
- Actual Cats - That Clean Your Laundry
(....not Responsible for Rips, Tears, Hairballs,
or Holes. )
- Actual Cats - That Clean Your Laundry
(....not Responsible for Rips, Tears, Hairballs,
or Holes. )
Santiago Pubitch's Brazilian Butt Whacks
"Little Doobie's" Snax & Sweet Munchies
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Things that sound dirty,...
but aren't ??
but aren't ??
Taco Cheese
Seam Ripper
Tea Bagger
Bum Rap
Panting
Rug Beater
Sloppy Joe
Squeaky Clean
Peanut Butter
Road Rage
Brown Baggin' It
Suck It Down
Drivin' a Stick
Stud Finder
Chocolate Ho Ho's
Succotash
Tight Squeeze
Big Ripe Melons
.
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PLEEEZ feel free to share,,,yeahhh,,,SHARE this silly stuff with your friends, family, loved ones, fond ones, the warden, those you tolerate, clergy, bartender, cook, pets, pet's pets, neighborhood bully, gardener, pool man, nail tech, party hat adjuster, waitress, shoe shiner, belt sander, boss,
nut sacker, bong cleaner, thong approver...etc.
nut sacker, bong cleaner, thong approver...etc.
I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone
just so I know who to ignore when they call.
just so I know who to ignore when they call.
Ya ever ride the porcelain tractor
& give screamin' birth to a f'n support beam
& the only word you can really think of
is,... "SHIT !!" ??
& give screamin' birth to a f'n support beam
& the only word you can really think of
is,... "SHIT !!" ??
Have you ever had a piece of loose
skin - like,....down on your toe, and you place
the skin in the nearest spam key,.... and see
how far up your body you can turn the
key without breaking the skin ?
Ohhhh,...Wow,....ME TOO !!!
Left Nipple !!
skin - like,....down on your toe, and you place
the skin in the nearest spam key,.... and see
how far up your body you can turn the
key without breaking the skin ?
Ohhhh,...Wow,....ME TOO !!!
Left Nipple !!
Roses Are Red,...
Violets Are Blue,...
You Suck,...
And,... You Suck,... !!
Violets Are Blue,...
You Suck,...
And,... You Suck,... !!
Why are so many people upset with Meth Labs ??
So the dogs are a little jumpy,... so what ??
So the dogs are a little jumpy,... so what ??
How come ya never see any Nun Babies ??
Born Under A Beer Sign
I think Band-Aids should look like giant
bloody gashes,...
bloody gashes,...
Cannibal's LOVE Free Toes
I wrote your name in the sand
but the waves washed it away,...
I wrote your name in the sky
but the wind blew it away,...
I wrote your name in my heart
and forever it will stay.
but the waves washed it away,...
I wrote your name in the sky
but the wind blew it away,...
I wrote your name in my heart
and forever it will stay.
Ginny Taylia f'n HATES her name
- As does Buster Nut
- As does Buster Nut
Map Quest really needs to start their directions
on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of
my own freakin' neighborhood.
on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of
my own freakin' neighborhood.
I just sniffed my bed sheets
& discovered It's LAUNDRY TIME !!!
( ...you're gonna go sniff your's,...aren't ya ?? )
& discovered It's LAUNDRY TIME !!!
( ...you're gonna go sniff your's,...aren't ya ?? )
Bad decisions make GREAT stories.
Helpful Fun Work Tip #77
When you go out for a job interview,
I think a good thing to ask
is if they ever press charges.
When you go out for a job interview,
I think a good thing to ask
is if they ever press charges.
Barbie wonders every night
why her owner's younger brother
keeps taking off all her clothes
and doing naughty things to her
plastic girlie parts
why her owner's younger brother
keeps taking off all her clothes
and doing naughty things to her
plastic girlie parts
I'D sure stand in line to buy
Meth Dissolvable Strips !!
Maybe with Fluoride,...and added
Caffein !!!
Meth Dissolvable Strips !!
Maybe with Fluoride,...and added
Caffein !!!
C'mon Peeple !!!
Let's Combine Machete Football,
Frog Golf, Desert Cliff Diving,
& Badger Tag, With Baby Soccer !!!
Let's Combine Machete Football,
Frog Golf, Desert Cliff Diving,
& Badger Tag, With Baby Soccer !!!
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.. "A TRUE FOOL is one that refuses
to learn from their mistakes
& thinks that they are so wise
and righteous that the lack of
any friends, or love - for that
matter - is beyond self
examination and can only be blamed
on everybody else."
- Curt Fillmore
to learn from their mistakes
& thinks that they are so wise
and righteous that the lack of
any friends, or love - for that
matter - is beyond self
examination and can only be blamed
on everybody else."
- Curt Fillmore
"Ain't Nothin' Funnier - Than Stupid"
- Curt Fillmore
- Curt Fillmore
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Correct use of the "F" word . . .
- When is @#$% Acceptable ?
There were only eleven times in history where
the "F" word has been considered acceptable for use.
the "F" word has been considered acceptable for use.
.
They are as follows:
.
11. "What the @#$% do you mean, we are sinking?"
-- Capt. E.J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912
10. "What the @#$% was that?"
-- Mayor of Hiroshima, 1945
9. "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?"
-- Custer, 1877
8. "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that."
-- Einstein, 1938
7. "It does so @#$%ing look like her!"
-- Picasso, 1926
6. "How the @#$% did you work that out?"
-- Pythagoras, 126 BC
5. "You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?"
-- Michelangelo, 1566
4. "Where the @#$% are we?"
-- Amelia Earhart, 1937
3. "Scattered @#$%ing showers, my ass!"
-- Noah, 4314 BC
2. "Aw c'mon. Who the @#$% is going to find out?"
-- Bill Clinton, 1998
and ...
1. "Geez, I didn't think they'd get this @#$%ing mad."
-- Saddam Hussein, 2003
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Curt's List
Tulsa,
curtfill
