Sometimes I dream
that I'm a giant,
and all the tiny, wonderful
townspeople love me.
But I always, eventually,
wake myself up,
with all the screaming
& yelling from the townspeople
as I stomp on them 

 - c.f.

More Sponsors
& Things That Sound Naughty?
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 This Weeks Curt's List
Is Sponsored By
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Van De Kamp's Early
Unfavorable Recipes
Pork And Things
Pork And Strings
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Pork And Jeans



Little 9 yr. old
Melvin Dahmer
can't wait for next
summer's family vacation
especially after, he's
pretty sure, he
overheard his parents
say they'll
be headed to
Maggot Kingdom!!!





Things That
Sound Naughty??Reindeer Games
Snow Balls
Whitey Bulger
Frigate
Lay-Away
Balmy
Tail Meat
Pole Climber
BonusHigh & Tight
Wood Polish
Shower Head
Community Dump
Dicker
Do It Yourself
Low Blow
Damaged/Leaky Hose
Backhole
Mrs. Chaney Loves Dick
Captain's Log
Outta' Whack





Mrs Cheney Loves Dick

 

Shouldn't Matrimony
be called
Mattressmony ? - c.f.

Why aren't the Special
Olympic medals & trophys
all jak'd up?
Like all twisted up,
bent & crooked,
with holes in em'
& shit?
c.f.
(010115)

Snoopy is a
son of a bitch





+  +  +  +

Sponsors
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Densmore Pontiac's
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Victoria's Secret
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Pinch Him As
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.



Moses Sanchez Says
"Let My People Mow !!"

.

Pssssst...   hey buddy ??
...ya got any toilet paper over there ??

 This Week's Curt's List
is Sponsored By
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of the Vanishing
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& Why It Always Smells Funky Behind Your Ears

.

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Grampa always thought it was funny to hit me on the way home from school with a two-by-four as he drove past.

...And even
funnier if it had rusty nails sticking out of it.

- c.f.

+  +  +  +Things That
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Hanging Out
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Dungereess



fuk the fukin'
fukin' fuk
...fukin'
fukers

= = = = = =

Sunday's Curt's List
Is Being Brought
To You By
Oklahoma !!
A state that cares more
about gambling, beer
& religion than
educating our children !!

= = = = = =

Mankind's Greatest BlunderSelf Destruction, & Complete Waste of TimeThroughout all of History has been the Pursuit of,Belief in, & Contribution to Religionc.f.

RELIGION KILLS
BELIEVE
IN YOURSELF
for Christ's sake...

+  +  +  +

I always know the date's
over when I get a face
full of pepper spray



More Sad News...
My Hot Girlfriend,
Victoria's Secret
Mannequin Gwen,
Accidentally Burned
Her Arms Off
Cooking Thanksgiving
Dinner

.

 I have a deep-seated priority to always get
my money's worth, for instance, just before I go in to get my teeth cleaned,
while I'm in the waiting room, I like to eat a mouthful of Oreo's - c.f.

~ ~ ~

How come ya never see
any Nun's w/ Babies?
.
Cannibal's LOVE
Free Toes !!
.
Born Under A Beer Sign
.
Band-Aids should look like bloody gashes

Carpet Shoes are the answer

to Tiled &/or Wooden Floors

= = = = =

NEVER play Cards with a man named Ace

NEVER trust a plumber whom wears rubber boots

NEVER trust a
Skinny Chef

Never trust a
Car Mechanic
who's fingernails
aren't black

And...
&.
NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER

EVER, EVER, EVER

Trust a Fart

= = = = = =

Why do I ALWAYS discover I'm out of
toilet paper when I've JUST finished taking
the Browns to the Super Bowl?? Why??

- c.f.

 Things That
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BJ & The Bear
Drivin' a Stick
Stud Finder
Chocolate Ho Ho's
Tight Squeeze
Succotash
Bacon Drippings
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Lunchbox
Turner & Hootch
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Meet The Press
Mail Slot
Shawshank
COX
Nut Bag
Potsticker
Sour Puss
COX Installer
Rusty Trombone
Jack In The Box
Woodpecker

Another Lady Gaga Victim

= = = = = =Ain't Nothin' Funnier

Than Stupid

- c.f.

..

.

= = = = = =More Curt's List Sponsors

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Scarpuss.= = = = =New Year Resolution:
SNAP INTO A SLIM GYM !!

c.f.

= = = = =

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In Part By
Things That
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Peanuts
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Snatch
Ball Girl

= = = = =

Sponsors
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-  -  - 

Ya ever notice; No one
ever blames shit on God ?
No, God only heals,
Gets REALLY annoyed
when 4.5 million humans have sex every night & only scream his name,
And mostly helps everyone
score &/or win Sporting Events & Awards.
Soooo....

Hey Boys & Girls...
Here's a new cuss word !!
---- GODFUCK ----
Tornado Death & Destruction:
GODFUCK
Child Cancer:
GODFUCK
Wild Fires/Record Snowfall
Mudslides/& Finally Floods
A Definite GODFUCKIN'
Car Runs Out of Gas on
Way To Work:
NOT GODFUCKED
No, YOU Fucked Yourself
on that one
Fall into the Grand Canyon
taking selfie:
NOT GODFUCK
But Now YOU'RE A
Fucking DEAD Idiot
Tree Falls On House
Killing Grandma
Possible GODFUCK
Was Grandma a 24 hr
stabbing pain in the ass ??
If Answer Yes:
GODFUCKED !!

My Favorite Baby's T-Shirt

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.
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Going To Fight The
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Tonto Simply Uttered
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"Chemo-Sabe"

- - -

 Mrs. Cheney Loves Dick

Things That
SOUND Naughty ??
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Pedro's Big Burrito
Colin Powell
Good Bone Health
Sweet Pea
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Oral Roberts
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Head Banger
Nancy Drew & The Hardy Boys
Pork Loins

Bent, Kinked &/or Floppy Hose

Clam Chowder

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Frankenstein's
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.

Can't We All
Just Get A Bong ??



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Sponsored By
Davy's Often
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& Viciously
Ignored
Brother
Dicky Crocket
King of the
Wild Front Hair
.
The W.E. Portion
of Curt's List
Is Sponsored By
Mama Sue Haney's
Made From Scratchin'
Red Scab Biscuits
.
Saturday's
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Is Sponsored By
Super Man's
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Toilet Paper
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Sunday's Curt's List
Is Being Brought
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Netflix !!
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Netflix Is
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Less Talk
More Rock

I have sexually molested myself repeatedly
since I was a teen
but no one will listen...
#MeToo

Give Pizza Chants

Things That
SOUND Naughty ??Busted Hose
All-Day Sucker
Wild Beaver
5 Dollar Foot Long
Worn O-Ring
Spicey Meatballs
Hose Bag
Box Lunch
Eating at the "Y"
Wood Trim
Chicken Breasts
Scratch n Sniff
Kibbles 'n Bits
Grape Nuts
Tickle Me Elmo
Tiny Package
8" Long Screw
Lick n' Stick
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Cookie Sheets
Strap-on Nailer
Golf Clap
Steamed Meat
Hot Checks
Cumbersome Package
Movie Buff
Swap Meet
Working With My Staff
Shower Head
Policeman's Ball

 



 Things That
SOUND Naughty ??
Big Boned
Low Fluids
Nice Stroke
Entry Level Position
Members Only
Layman
Sweet Lips
Squishy
Mom's Hot
Hummer Lover
Snag
Oral Roberts
Tube
Dewey Bush
How Long Can You Keep It Up?
Vacuum Bag
I Got Your Back
Low Blow
Mom's Gravy
Stocking Stuffer
North Pole
Meatpacker's Union
Chestnuts

 More Things
That SOUND
Naughty ??
Suck It Up
Suck It In
You Suck
Super Soaker
Party Nuts
Seersucker Suit
A Bird In The Bush
Experienced Pianist
Bobber
Smells Fishy
Pork Loins

.

=====

Ignorant, weak, religious people seem to think God is an entity, like an actual person living up in heaven looking down over all of us.
WE are all our own God. You are your God & I am mine. God is nothing more than our own conscious.
Throughout all of history religion has achieved nothing but massive death.
And what an incredible waste of time. We've all been brainwashed as children to believe this religious hogwash, which
instills nothing more than knowing what is right & what is wrong.
If any religion was worth one shit there wouldn't be so many of them.
If you believe in anything, Believe In YOURSELF

Besides, God only gets credit
for healing/saving people, & winning sporting events, even though both sides are shamlessly praying for the same outcome.

.

What about all the death & catastophe he allowed to happen in the
first place??

.

And what kind'a
f'n God kills
so many children ?

.

Who created
the life you live?
Who works for that life?
Who protects that life?
YOU

So Own It !!

...Jeez

 

 Even More Sad News...
My Hot Girlfriend,
Victoria's Secret
Mannequin Gwen,
Was Cought
Cheating On Me
With The New
Rubbermaid Kitchen
Trash Can

Things That
SOUND Naughty???
Nasty Crack
Gettin' Off?
Dick Vermeil
Little Squirt
Bun Warmer
Hot Pocket
Crystal Balls
Shaved Ice
Meet in the Middle
Come From Behind
Flap Jacks
Feeling A Little Chubby
Soft Taco
Helmet Head
Six In The Morning
Gum Balls
Humpin' To Please
Nice Spread
Honey Jar
Peel My Nanner?
Creamer

Jack's Off All Week
Wet Muffin
Wobbly Stool
Yummy Pickle
Asbestos
Saltpeter
Download/Upload

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012318

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is Sponsored By
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The Brunt of Millions
of Jokes for Decades
YO MAMA !!

Duh??

Week of 092717

This Week's Curt's List
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The Often Overlooked,
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is Sponsored By
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The Following Words
That SOUND Dirty ??
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is Sponsored By
Densmore Pontiac's Answer
To Tiled &/or Wooden Floors
Carpet Shoes



This Week's Curt's List
is Sponsored By:
Edna's Pie Hole
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Lickety Split
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Shag Carpet
Filthy Wood
Couscous

- - - - - - - -

.

- - - - - - - -

TOP

HOME



.

More Curt's List Sponsors
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Kemosabe Heat & Air
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.
Heinz Failed
Marketing Ploys
Heinz Tomato Stuff
Heinz Tomato Goop
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.
Kemosabe Plumbing
Tonto Plunge

= = = = =

Ya wanna know who damages the Christian religion the worst ?
Far worse than any non-believer or Athiest ever could ? Preachers & Ministers that continue to peddle that brainwashing horse shit for nothing more than their mega-church profits. And those child raping, dress wearin', old, ass wipes called Priests. Each and every one of them needs to feel the business end of a few hundred baseball bats to the raping man-junk under those rediculous, fucking moo moo's they all wear.
And then sent to prison; where kid raping pieces of shit belong.

030119

= = = = =

Sponsors
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-------
Sponsors
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No One
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------

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- - - - -

Sponsors
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Cigars &
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.

TOP

.

Another thing in life I've never
understood is Why do so many couples slap leather to make babies ?
Some of them seem to make babies just for the hell of it weather they can afford them or not, or even know, or trust, that their freakin' mate
is stable enough
or trustworthy enough
to even stick around. 

We only get one shot at this life.
Why in the hell are people in such
a f'n hurry to complicate the shit
out of their lives ??
Child care alone will cost at least
a thousand bux a month
per kid

My Theory: 99% of most people on this planet were accidents, yet no one will ever admit it.

Why can't people just enjoy their f'n lives without creating chaos ??

Just Say NO - People !! Grow a pair & just have some damn fun with your mate for a couple of years !! Unless you really want a 20 year setback of pain, grief, regret & no control over your own damn life.
Just wait a few years.
Or better yet
Just Don't Have Kids.

Just Say Fuk Dat !!

Most of these people (Breeders) - leave their parents &/or finish school & desparately, slap leather, searching for a mate - in every way possible including internet dating sites & bars because they can't handle being alone for any length of time whatsoever, although none of them will ever admit it. Then they find someone whom they claim is their f'n soulmate, whom they say they want to grow old with, whom they say they want to do sooo many great/fun things with. They spend an insane/idiotic amount of money getting married on stupid, meaningless rings, wedding dresses, cakes, dinners & other assorted stupid shit & then, before they even truly know each other & usually within a few months, they get pregnant, 99% by accident, although none of them will ever admit it, and throw every bit of that fairy tale bullshit right out the window.

Now they will do nothing they had planned, and see exactly no parts of the world as they begin supporting & nurturing a selfish, narrcissistic, conceited, completely helpless life form for the next 18 years, many of which will be spent doing every single thing for the little vegetable in their every waking hour, continuously smelling baby shit, spending untold stacks of money - including feeding it & basically keeping it alive, while trying to work, keep the bills paid, put food on the table, stay healthy, stay happy, keep the marriage going, and keep from getting shot.

Eventually, while going broke, and hurtling even faster toward eminent death, there might be a very small window in time of possible pleasentness, discovery & fun to experience, together, between the ages of 2-12. Ten whole years may be peaceful, loving, & full of adventure & learning opportunities. Daily teaching that poor child - YOUR religion, politics, lifestyle, values & personality along the way (Never once considering how fucked up You've been your entire life).

Sooner or later they will experience their loving gift from God (gag me) turn into a purely self centered, phone loving, totally entightled, teen parasite, that owes it's entire existance to nothing & no one but their parents, grow to hate them, redicule them, steal from them, & basically do everything it can to avoid &/or escape them, usually just to hook up with someone & have as much sex & drugs & booze as they possibly can. Finally, eighteen  long years have passed, including every cent you ever earned, every nice thing you ever cherished & every dream you ever had,
and...you...wonder...What the fuck happened to my f'n life ??
And most people just have more of
these sorry little leech fuckers, all while whining & complaining about them to anyone that will listen. As if life isn't hard enough all by itself. - It's not enough for them to toil for the rest of their lives just for food & shelter, but they have to create a clone of themselves that has no choice in the matter but to live that same life in a world that just keeps getting more & more crowded, competitive, polluted, crude, & violent. Most of these breeders like to blame it all on that 3000 yr. old book of fairytales that they were brainwashed into believing at church. They've never had an original thought in their sorry ass brains since they were spawned & do it because they think "You're Supposed To ????" The real culprit though is being unable to keep their naughty parts covered & unable to control their own junk.
We all just desperately want someone, anyone...to simply touch our pee pee's and we'll do anything to make it happen.

Including screwing up our entire lives.

Just...Say...NO...PEOPLE !!!

Humans..are..just..

SO..incredibly..stupid

Humans are worse than animals when spawning mouths to feed because we have a choice.

.

.

A couple of
Kenny Wayne Shepherd's
Fender Strats.

...
The Two pix above, are of the Fender Eric Clapton Signature Series Stratocaster "Blackie".To View the faithful Original Fender Custom ShopReproduction of "Blackie" check out: fender.com/features/blackie/blackie.In 1970, Clapton bought a handful of Stratocasters, Telecasters, and various other Fenders for $100.00 each at the Sho-Bud shop in Nashville, Tennessee. He took them back to England and gave one to George Harrison, one to Steve Winwood, and one to Pete Townshend. Clapton disassembled the remaining three and constructed "Blackie" out of the best components from each of them.
The Album "Slowhand" - 1977 - Showcases & is dedicated to Eric's Beloved "Blackie".
Recording the album "Slowhand" and the following 'Slowhand Tour' consisted of a band with a rhythm section comprised of three TULSA Musicians,...as Clapton became infatuated with The Tulsa Sound.
Clapton's Rhythm Section:
Dick Sims - Keyboards
Carl Radle - Bass
Jamie Oldaker - Drums
Check out Clapton's Steady Rollin' Man from 461 Ocean Blvd. which featured this Tulsa Rhythm Section - 11th song, within my Blues Music pg. http://curtslist.com/blues_music

.TOP



.

.

.

.

Click the above banner for Map of Tulsa

.

The Stone's - Keith Richards

 TOP

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.

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122017

This Week's
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When I go shopping at a WalMartI mean HELL-Mart
I like to put on their finest fluffy houseshoes & coziest bathrobe, get a package of  burritos & a six pack of beer.I overcook the burritos in the best microwave oven I can find and then I take my time looking at crap, eating burritos & drinkin' beer.
Mmmmmm...shopping...c.f.

+  +  +  +

.Isn't THIS

Fascinating??

.

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The Problem
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Were Lied To
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And My Baby
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Yeah Nuns !!
I mean, who
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.
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BLESS YOU - SUMMER !!

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it away man !!"
"We'll...uh...
recycle it man !!"

.

Densmore Pontiac's
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.
Densmore Pontiac's
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.

Batman's
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Robin Squeegeee

.

Sad News...
My Hot Girlfriend,
Victoria's Secret
Mannequin Gwen,
Accidentally Burned
Her Hands Off
Baking Cookies

Shouldn't Eye Patches
Have Eyeballs painted
on them ??

Why haven't they started
microchipping babies ??

Have you ever pooped
a turd so big that it
splashed half way
up your back ??

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This Week's
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LOVE
...Or Whatever
You Call The
Desperate Desire
To Simply Have Our
Pee Pee's Touched

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Oodles & Oodles
Of Noodles
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Now With Even
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Yep !!
Without Humans
Most Of You'all
Would Still Be
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Bunch of Old Men
Who Wear Dresses
Goofy Hats
& Sing Songs
No One
Can Understand.
...Oh Yeah
They Also,
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 Frankenstein's
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Tony Bennett's
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I Left My Spleen
In Tuscaloosa
I Left My Intestines
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I Left My Right Lung
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Things That
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Y'all Come !
Black Angus
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Hump Day

.

I Believe You Should Live Every Day
Like It's Your FIRST, Instead of
Like It's Your Last
- Lay in Bed all Day, Cry a Lot,
& Soil Yourself Repeatedly.
- c.f.

Believing in Any Religion Instead of Yourself is Completely Idiotic and a Complete Waste of Time

But I Gotta' Draw The Line On Any Religion That Requires Too Much Rediculous Shit:
Old Men In Dresses
Old Men In Stupid Hats
Languages & Songs No One
Can Pronounce
Much Less Sing
Chanting
Pedophilia
ANY Old Men
In Dresses
Raping Children
Especially
Catholic F'n Priests.
Goddamn !!
Eating Flesh
Drinking Blood
Random Kneeling
Booze & Crackers
Pool Dunking
Ring Kissing
Grown Men Crying
Like Little Pussies
Those F'n Jackoffs
That Raise Their
Hands When Any
Music Is Playing
Confessions
Crucifixions
Anything on
Sunday Morning
Including Church
Congregations
Offerings
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Yelling
Slamming Bibles
Crowds Reading Bibles
Speaking In Tongues
(Complete Horseshit)
Magic Underwear
More Than One Wife
Tithing
Stoning
Sharia Law
Killing Anyone For
Any F'n Reason
Robes (Dresses)
Prayers
Imaginary Friends
Missionary Position Only
Choirboys/Alterboys
Head Bowls/Caps
Dreidels
Kosher Anything
No Bacon
Forhead Insignia
Wearing Tablechoths
or Full Body Drapes
Blasphemy
Believing &/or Devoting Your Life To Any
Book of Fairy
Tales Over 3,000
Yrs. Old Totally Written From Recollection 200-300 Years After The Orig. Tales.
Teeth Gnashing
Firey Pits
Space Prophets
or Any F'n Prophets
for That Matter
Holy/Righteous
Anything/Anyone
Hollywood Actors
Sci-Fi Writers
Fasting
Restrictive Diets
Prayer Mats
Any F'n Preacher
or Minister w/
a Mansion, Jet
or Tv Studio
Worshiping Virgins
Any A-Hole Who
Asks If I'm A
Criss-Chin or
If I Know
The Lord
Can Suck It
Any Dipshit
Who Says
They're In Love
w/ Jesus
Can Lick My Taint
Any Fuktard
That Uses
Crosses or
Backward Fish
to Sell ANYTHING
Kneeling & Praying
To ANY F'n Entity
Five Times A Day
Bible Study
Fuckin' With Snakes
In The Name of
Jay-Zus!!

.

 Thrown-Out
Oscar Meyer
Hot-Dog
Slogans
"Put Our Wieners
In Your Mouth!"
"Wrap Your Lips
Around This Wiener!"
"You'll Love The
Taste of Our
Juicy Weiners!"
"Stick Our Jumbo
Weiners Between
Your Buns!"

+  +  +  +Curt's List Has Previously Been Brought To You By A Few of The Following Important Sponsors:

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Tonto Fix

Made .Kizer Sofa's Door-to-Door
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We've all been there right? When Our Needs Desperately Require A Prostitute, Should'nt The Screaming of Holy Entities, The Thrashing About, The Making of Weird Faces, And
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Heinz  1 Thru 56 Ketchup Varieties:

# 45 - Spam Ketchup

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# 4 - Turnip Ketchup

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# 11 - Cabbage Ketchup etc...

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Kimosabe's
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Tonto Dust

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Miss Crystal M. Heth's
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Densmore Pontiac's
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.
Both Downtown
Tulsa Panhandlers:
The Homeless
& those
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Meters
.
Kemosabe's
Dance Studio
Tonto Fox Trot

 .

...on the third day of
Christmas my true love
gave to me...
Herpes ??
WT... ??



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Isn't Connected To Anything)

 = = = = =

The news has been reporting
Churches everywhere arming people in the Church & learning self defense tactics against active shooters.

You can read your bible & worship all you want at home - people.

Same for Schools; Home Schools don't get shot up. (...yet)

The reason these places are
getting shot up is because it's where defenseless people gather which makes them easy targets. 092418

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Jim Jowles "Kids For Coats"
Bring your slightly used & unwanted child by any Calf Lick Charities & trade that little Yard Ape
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. 
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Book of the Month Club
This Month's Selection:
Hustler...again.Iraqie Triple A
Roadside Service
Anita Poonjab's Camel Tows.Lonny Don Maginny& Skeezix Mushler's
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&/or Divorce Court Re-enactors.Stanley's Extra LongChild's Wig Staples.Be My ValentineStun Guns & Tasers
.
Iraqie Kellog'sHoney Bunches of Goats

Ed Gore'sCooling Fans for Globes
.
Dildo Baggins
Often overlooked
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successful Shire
round door salesman.Sunglasses by
Squint Eastwood

.Nugget Farms
Assisted Living Communities
For Boneless Chickens
.
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Independent Contractors Union 506 Members
Three Miniature Pigs Construction
In Conjunction With B.B.Wolf Demolition Co. Specializing in Stick, Straw,
& Brick Home Construction

.Ko-neesha, Rastess, Tiny, Big Tiny, Oprah, Dupree, Jeyzis, Lamar, Skinny Bob, Densmore Pontiac, Sanchez Sanchez, and the Rest of the Bum Washers Down at

Hobo Clean

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.
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& Dick Cheney


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Densmore Pontiac's
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.

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.

Let's Give a
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Buck & Lisa
Bungwhole
BUNGWHOLE
LIQUORS

 Chef Endorsed
New Planter's
Nut Spray
"Just Squirt
Some Nut
On It!!"

.

Byewly Longwon
& Keurig Poonjab's
Award Winning
Two Man
Marching Band
Performing Live
This Saturday
At The Walmart
Shopping Cart
Rack!! Be Sure
To Check Out The
Longwon Poojab Band
Merch Table!!!

.

You Have
A Friend
In Cheeses

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Richardson & Carr & Carr
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Mung Phillips'
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Large Tupperware Containers
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GLAD
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Discarded
Ice Cream Flavors
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Things That
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Hard Noodle
Butterfinger
Tiny Pianist
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Poontang
(Whoaaa...that
one IS naughty)
Gettin' Chubby
Horizontal Drilling

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Making Sleazy,
Gangster Operated
Pawn Shops SEEM
Legit ??

.

LORD AMONG-US !!!

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