Sometimes I dream
that I'm a giant,
and all the tiny, wonderful
townspeople love me.
But I always, eventually,
wake myself up,
with all the screaming
& yelling from the townspeople
as I stomp on them 

 - cmf

 More Sponsors
& Things That Sound Naughty?
122517

 
Hootie's Earlier Experiments
Hootie & The Hyenas
Hootie & The Bats
Hootie & The Eels
Hootie & The Badgers
Hootie & The Sea Snails
Those Hard Working
Stripper Muppets
Along The Sesame Street
Red Light District

This Portion of Curt's List
is Sponsored By
Things That
Sound Naughty??
Sticky Buns
Flagstick
Ascot
Tramp Stamp
Man Cave
Asinine
Pound Town
(Oops that one
IS naughty)
Preheat The Oven
Spunk
Golf Clap

More Sponsors

032421

The Disgusting
Experimentation of
Preparation A-G

Doosh Mahiney
Professional PGA
"In The Hole"
Screamer

Hollywood Stunt Baby
And Up & Coming Rapper
Lil Skid Marks

Carson Noma's
Medicated
Nipple Clamps

Lady Di Beatus'
Childrens Book
of Delightful Medieval Tortures
.
New Death Metal
Country Ska Band
Anna Flaxis
& The Mold Spores

.

Dick Wiggles
The Flying Monkey
Groomer of Oz

Christopher Walk-in
Closets & Pantries

Pauly Dartin's
X-tra Loud
One Man
Gospel Choir

This Portion of Curt's List
Is Sponsored By
Van De Kamp's Early
Unfavorable Recipes
Pork And Things
Pork And Strings
Pork And Greens
Pork And Jeans

Little 9 yr. old
Geoffrey Dahmer
can't wait for next
summer's family vacation
especially after, he's
pretty sure, he
overheard his parents
say they'll
be headed to
Maggot Kingdom!!!

This Weeks Sponsor:
New Animal Planet
Hit Series:
Maggot P.I.

Thyroid Husky & Frustrated
Adam & Eve Adult Toy Tester
Anita Wang

Skeezix Mushler &
Densmore Pontiac's
Sorority Only
Door To Door
Personal Mamagrams

Cell Block 32's Own
Igor "Three Fingers" Sigowski
Offering Decorative, Custom
Shivs While-You-Wait

Liz Beyann's
'Man Looking Wigs'
For Lady
Soul-Partners
Everywhere

The Unfortunate
Failed Debut
of Ishmael's
White Whale Rides

Liz Beyan's
Deep Carpet Cleaning
She'll Get Your
Carpet Clean
Lickety-Split





Things That
Sound Naughty??Reindeer Games
Snow Balls
Whitey Bulger
Frigate
Lay-Away
Balmy
Tail Meat
Pole Climber
BonusHigh & Tight
Wood Polish
Shower Head
Community Dump
Dicker
Do It Yourself
Low Blow
Damaged/Leaky Hose
Backhole
Mrs. Chaney Loves Dick
Captain's Log
Outta' Whack



Mrs Cheney Loves Dick

CurtsList.Com Sponsors:

Failed Sound of Music Titles
White Noise
The Sound of Andrews
Dancing In A Hillside Field
NAZI! NAZI! - RUN! RUN!

Casper Black
Valhalla Bellboy
& Ice Machine Mechanic


Kimosabe's Plumbing Service
TONTO PLUNGE

Kimosabe's Fall/Winter
Landscaping Service
TONTO RAKE

New At Smackus Brothers
Experience The Rustic Charm & Incredible Old-World
Practicality of the
Dee-Wayne Gain's Hobo
Furniture Collection.
Your Entire Family Will Enjoy
The Amazing Design, Function & Down-Right Simple Elegance
of Empty Paint Buckets & Discarded Cable Spools For Years To Come

The Original Meteorologist
WINDOW


The New King Todd Bible
Featuring
Noah's Earlier Stuff:
Noah's Log
Noah's Inner Tube
Noah's Sea-Doo
Noah's Party Pontoon

Carl Shiddy
Founder & CEO
Shiddy Trophy Co.

Steven & Connie Cox
Owners & Proprietors of
Cox Liquors

 

Shouldn't Matrimony
be called
Mattressmony ? - c.f.

Why aren't the Special
Olympic medals & trophys
all jak'd up?
Like...all twisted up,
bent & crooked,
with holes in em'
& shit?
cmf
(010115)

Snoopy is a
son of a bitch



More CurtsList,Com Sponsors:

Babe the Pig's Grocery & Wine Weekend Special:
Buy bag of human ears for Dog - Get free jar pickled peoples knuckles

Jerry R. Ralph R.B. Bob Beevus
Short-Order Cook of Oz

Willy Wonka's Younger Brother - Billy Wonka's Fudge Factory
Begging Anyone & Everyone
"Please Drop By My Fudge Factory Please? C'mon People It's Real,
Honest-To Goodness...Fudge!"
I Promise!!



+  +  +  +

Sponsors
041818

This Week's
Curt's List Is
Sponsored By
Bubba Dan's
Windshield Bug
Splatter Collages
& Close-Up
Pizza Pics
That Identically
Resemble Every
Single Jackson
Pollack Painting


Thursday's Curt's List
Is Being Brought
To You By
Kemosabe's New
Canister Vacuum
Tonto Suck

The W.E. Portion
of Curt's List
Is Sponsored By
Jaun, Jaun,
Jaun, & Jaun
Lopez' Touring
Taco Restaurants
Featuring Two
Different Sauces
"Hot" & "Not So Hot"
"We Bet You
Can't Eat
Just Jaun Taco"

Saturday's Curt's List
Is Sponsored By
Failed Kraft
Macaroni Recipes
Macaroni & Bees
Macaroni & Leaves
Macaroni & Febreze
Macaroni & Keys
Macaroni & Blonee

STANK
Unemployed
5 Piece
Death Metal
'Eleven Items
Or Less'
Grocery Store
Checkout Lane
Band

My Low-Cost Answer
To Expensive Hearing Aids

•

Sunday's Curt's List
Is Being Brought
To You By
Densmore Pontiac's
Entire Paycheck
Celebration of
His First Week As A
Victoria's Secret
Underwear Adjuster !!
Pinch Him As
Often As You Want !!

•

.

More CurtsList.Com Sponsors:

Beau Loney's
Pop-Up
Steak Hut
Just Off Exit 733
Next To The Big
Cattle Ranch
w/ Missing Stockk 

Kimosabe's Landscaping Service
TONTO MOW

Chef Endorsed
New Planter's Nut Spray
"Just Squirt Some
Nut On It!"

Davy Crocket's Often Overlooked & Viciously Ignored Brother
DICKY CROCKET
King of the Wild Front Hair

The Viagra
Rock Hard
Casino

The New Curtains I Bought
My Neighbors Because
NO ONE Should EVER Have To See THAT Again!!

N. Korea Fine Dining Experience
BENJI-HANA

.

•

Moses Sanchez Says
"Let My People Mow !!"

.

Pssssst...hey buddy ??
ya got any toilet paper over there ??

 This Week's Curt's List
is Sponsored By
Billy Bob Einstein's 2 Most Important Questions
1. Where Do Vanishing Dryer Socks Go?
2. Why Does It Always Smell Funky Behind Your Ears?

More Sponsors

STANK
Unemployed
5 Piece
Death Metal
Corporate High-Rise
Elevator Band

Justin's Human Skin Boots
For Snakes & Gators

Samuel L. Jackson's
LAY-ZEE MOTHERFUCKER
Super Comfy Recliners

My Spoiled Rotten
Little F'n Yard Ape's
1000 Bux A Month
F'n Learning Academy

ORGANS R US
We'll gladly remove your
unwanted organs for free;
pianos, keyboards, pianofortes, clavichords, spinets, harpsichords,
hammer dulcimers, square grands, synthesizers, Hammond B3s, Moogs
and whatever else you have lying around.

We do not, however, remove; livers, spleens, lungs, tonsils, unsightly
back/nose/ear hair, wisdom teeth, apendixes or any item of that nature

Pauly Dartin's
X-tra Loud
One Man
Gospel Choir

The New King Todd Bible
Featuring
Jonah's Earlier Stuff:
Jonah & The Trigonometry
Jonah & The Steamed Cabbage
Jonah & The Pool Bully
Jonah & The New Car Jack

•

•
The New King Todd Bible
Featuring
David's Earlier Stuff:
David & Squirrel
David & Pond Fish
David & Warehouse Window
David & Streetlight


The New King Todd Bible
Featuring
Joseph's Earlier Stuff:
Preston & Joseph
(College)
Koneesha & Joseph
(Interracial)
Zoe & Joseph
(Mary's Bestie)
Destiny & Joseph
(Stripper)

.

This Portion of Curt's List
is Sponsored By
Densmore Pontiac's
Candlelight Vigil
To Protest
Candlelight Vigils

This Portion of CurtsList.Com
Is Sponsored By
The Following Words
That SOUND Dirty ??
Yule Log
Gay Apparel
Hog Leg
Bonus
Swizzle Stick
Asbestos
Juicy Breasts
Scotus
Down South
Christmas Balls
Dick Smothers

This Portion of Curt's List
is Sponsored By
Mung Phelp's
Insulated Travel
Shot Glasses

Grampa always thought it was funny to hit me on the way home from school with a two-by-four as he drove past.

...And even
funnier if it had rusty nails sticking out of it

- cmf

+  +  +  +Things That
Sound Naughty??
Jactation
Hanging Out
Purple Barney
Dog Leg
Drunken, Bald Headed, Monkey Sex
Whoops That one IS dirty!!
Pork Loin
Hard Drive
Self Tapping Screw
Pickle Liquor
Ellen DeGeneres
Johnson & Johnson
Dank Skank
Wine Box
Mouthpiece
Scrubs
Playing With Your Laptop
Full Load
Pouch
Dickins
Zamboni
Idaho
Bangin' On My Backdoor
Snatch
Stuffed Beaver
Ball Washer
Long Hard One
Titular
Low Hung
Sexy Pumps
Big Box
Titan
Heavy Package
Skid Marks
Ball Joint
Bang It Out
Meat Rub
Spicy Sausage
Finger Tight Nuts
Dungereess



Fuk the fukin'
fukin' fuk!
Fukin'
fukers...

= = = = = =

Sunday's Curt's List
Is Being Brought
To You By
Oklahoma !!
A state that cares more
about gambling, beer
& religion than
educating our children !!

Sponsors:

Pauly Dartin's
X-tra Loud
One Man
Gospel Choir

= = = = = =

Mankind's Greatest BlunderSelf Destruction, & Complete Waste of TimeThroughout all of History has been the Pursuit of,Belief in, & Contribution to Religionc.f.

RELIGION KILLS
BELIEVE
IN YOURSELF
for Christ's sake...

+  +  +  +

I always know
the date's over
when I get
a face full
of pepper spray



More Sad News...
My Hot Girlfriend,
Victoria's Secret
Mannequin Gwen,
Accidentally Burned
Her Arms Off
Cooking Thanksgiving
Dinner

.

 I have a deep-seated priority to always get
my money's worth, for instance, just before I go in to get my teeth cleaned,
while I'm in the waiting room, I like to eat a mouthful of Oreo's - c.f.

~ ~ ~

So....
When they say
Holy Jesus
They obviously
mean his hands
& feet

How come ya never see
any Nun's w/ Babies?
.
Cannibal's LOVE
Free Toes !!
.
Born Under A Beer Sign
.
Band-Aids should look like bloody gashes

Carpet Shoes
are definitely
the answer
to Tiled &/or
Wooden Floors

= = = = =

NEVER play Cards with a man named Ace

NEVER trust a plumber whom wears rubber boots

NEVER trust a
Skinny Chef

Never trust a
Car Mechanic
who's fingernails
aren't black

And...
&.
NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER

EVER, EVER, EVER

Trust a Fart

= = = = = =

Why do I ALWAYS discover I'm out of
toilet paper when I've JUST finished taking
the Browns to the Super Bowl?? Why??

- c.f.

 Things That
Sound Naughty??
BJ & The Bear
Drivin' a Stick
Stud Finder
Chocolate Ho Ho's
Tight Squeeze
Succotash
Bacon Drippings
Pole Vault
The Boob Tube
Lunchbox
Turner & Hootch
Smelly Kitty
Meet The Press
Mail Slot
Shawshank
COX
Nut Bag
Potsticker
Sour Puss
COX Installer
Rusty Trombone
Jack In The Box
Woodpecker

Another Lady Gaga Victim

= = = = = =Ain't Nothin' Funnier

Than Stupid

- c.f.

..

.

= = = = = =More Curt's List Sponsors

 BRAUM'S
We got stores everywhere
and our ice cream has never
KILLED ANYONE

The Original
Child Daycare/Juvenile Penal System
SCHOOL

The Home of More Casinos,
& Churches, Structural Damage, Frakkin' Earth Quakes, Teacherless/Broke Schools, & More F'd Up Roads, Collectively, Than Anywhere In This Country:
OKLAHOMA

Kim Chin's Door To Door
Nick-Free Butt Shaving

Beau Mar's Touring
Celebrity Scab Collection

Return Sponsor:
Fox 23's Early Morning,
Apocalypse Intense, Vein Popping, Spit Flying, Drunk Yelling, Abandoned House Fire, & Water Main Break
Breaking News Broadcasts
"We Make Meaningless Crap SOUND Like It Matters!!"

The Original Social Network
WALMART

Densmore Pontiac's
GUARANTEE'D Diet Plans
(Densmore will come
& take all of your f'n food !!)

Dingy Manhair's Failed Toy
PUBIC'S CUBE

The Original
Hybrid Transport System
FEET

Nazi German Fast Food
Gestapo Bell

Scarpuss.= = = = =New Year Resolution:
SNAP INTO A SLIM GYM !!

c.f.

= = = = =

More Curt's List Sponsors
020718

The W.E. Portion
of CurtsList.Com
Is Sponsored By
All The Crap
Lying Around
Your House That
You HAD To Buy
Yet Have Never Used
- AND -
New CurtsList.Com
Sponsor:
Forget That Flu Shot
Introducing
Lysol Body Spray
And Orifice Mist
AND
Gutter's Clogged ??
Get Omar Sheriff's
Gutter Butter !!

Sunday's Curt's List
Is Being Brought To You
In Part By
Things That
SOUND Naughty ??
Pretty Pink Dickey
Gettin' Hammered
Hairy Pianist
Pussy Galore
Head Cheese
Dictation
Womb Broom
(Whoops...that one
IS naughty)
Peanuts
Rubber Maid
Snatch
Ball Girl

Sponsors
011619

This Week's
Curt's List is
Sponsored By
WANG, DANG
& DOODLE

Saturday's
Curt's List
Is Partially
Sponsored By
Densmore Pontiac's
Out Of Work
Shopper Stalkers
& Weird Looking
Human - Profilers
Union #417

 More Sponsors / 2017

Failed & Sometimes
Painful Kid's Toy 
Versions
The Pogo Clump Of Twigs
The Pogo Thorn Bush
The Pogo Twisted Root
The Pogo Stump

Strum "Twitchy" Harris
Bongo Drum Soloist
In The Dirty Harry
Chase Scenes

New From Ikea
& Shaquille O'Neal
Easy To Assemble
Shaq Shacks

More Curt's List Sponsors
& Things That
Sound Naughty??
010318

This Week's Curt's List
is Sponsored By
Sweet Aunt Ruby's
Murdered Animal Restaurants
Tortured & Murdered
Chopped Up & Cooked
Gentle, Adored Animals For
Your Dining Pleasure

This Portion of Curt's List
is Sponsored By
Ben & Jerry's Discarded
Ice Cream Flavors
Bugs & Juice
Jager Cyanide
Spring Taint
Chafe Powder Oreo's
Husky Musk Dingleberry

This Portion of Curt's List
is Sponsored By
Things That
SOUND Naughty ??
Mayonnaise
Thick Bologna
Pirate's Booty
Dirty Koozie
Bun Length Weiner
Missionary Retreat
Rubber Plant
Sweet & Low
Fireman's Pole

This Portion of Curt's List
is Sponsored By
Monks R Us Hairstylists
Specializing In Extremely Stupid Looking
Cereal Bowl Haircuts

-  -  - 

Ya ever notice; No one
ever blames shit on God ?
Hell No,...God only heals,
Gets REALLY annoyed
when 4.5 million humans have sex every night & only scream his name,
And mostly helps everyone
score &/or win Sporting Events & Awards.
Soooo....

Hey Boys & Girls...
Here's a new cuss word !!
---- GODFUCK ----
Tornado Death & Destruction:
GODFUCK
Child Cancer:
GODFUCK
Wild Fires/Record Snowfall
Mudslides/& Raging Floods
Definite GODFUCK
Car Runs Out of Gas on
Way To Work:
NOT GODFUCK
No, YOU Fucked Yourself
on that one
Fall into the Grand Canyon
taking selfie:
NOT GODFUCK
But Now YOU'RE A
Fucking DEAD Idiot
Tree Falls On House
Killing Grandma
Possible GODFUCK
Was Grandma a 24 hr
stabbing - pain in the ass ??
If Answer Yes:
GODFUCK !!

This Week's
Curt's List is
Proudly
Sponsored By
A Brand New
Business Venture
Started By
Bucky & Lisa
Bungwhole
Tell All Your
Friends, Family
& Coworkers
About
BUNGWHOLE
LIQUORS

 This Week's
Curt's List
Is Sponsored By
Dakota Farms
Spam Ranches
Now Featuring
A Fully Stocked
Sushi Pond

Things That
SOUND Naughty ??
Ball Gown
Coming Down My Chimney
Mount St. Mary
Pedro's Big Burrito
Colin Powell
Good Bone Health
Sweet Pea
Gomer Pyle
Heinous
Waterproof Caulk
Oral Roberts
Discoveryland
Gap Panties
Big Bag of Nuts
Leave It To Beaver
Bilingual
MegaRam
Head Banger
Nancy Drew & The Hardy Boys
Pork Loins

Bent, Kinked &/or Floppy Hose

Clam Chowder

More Sponsor's
091618

This Week's
Curt's List
Is Sponsored By
Frankenstein's
Online Fire
Awareness
Safety Training
Courses

Saturday's Curt's List
Is Sponsored By
Spencer & Claude's
"So You
Think You
Can Prance"
Competition
Down At
The Manhole

.Can't We All
Just Get A Bong ??



Sponsors
080818

This Week's
Curt's List is
Sponsored By
Davy's Often
Overlooked
& Viciously
Ignored
Brother
Dicky Crocket
King of the
Wild Front Hair
.
The W.E. Portion
of Curt's List
Is Sponsored By
Mama Sue Haney's
Made From Scratchin'
Red Scab Biscuits
.
Saturday's
Curt's List
Is Sponsored By
Super Man's
Ultra Strong
'Sharkman'
Steel Wool
Toilet Paper
.
Sunday's Curt's List
Is Being Brought
To You By
Netflix !!
Because
Gawwwd
Daaaang
Netflix Is
Awesome
&
FM 103.3
The Eagle
Tulsa's Only
Classic Rock
Radio Channel
That Actually
PLAYS Classic
Rock !!!

Less Talk
More Rock

I have sexually molested myself repeatedly
since I was a teen
but no one will listen...
#MeToo

Give Pizza Chants

Things That
SOUND Naughty ??Busted Hose
All-Day Sucker
Wild Beaver
5 Dollar Foot Long
Worn O-Ring
Spicey Meatballs
Hose Bag
Box Lunch
Eating at the "Y"
Wood Trim
Chicken Breasts
Scratch n Sniff
Kibbles 'n Bits
Grape Nuts
Tickle Me Elmo
Tiny Package
8" Long Screw
Lick n' Stick
Log Jam
Cookie Sheets
Strap-on Nailer
Golf Clap
Steamed Meat
Hot Checks
Cumbersome Package
Movie Buff
Swap Meet
Working With My Staff
Shower Head
Policeman's Ball

 



 Things That
SOUND Naughty ??
Big Boned
Low Fluids
Nice Stroke
Entry Level Position
Members Only
Layman
Sweet Lips
Squishy
Mom's Hot
Hummer Lover
Snag
Oral Roberts
Tube
Dewey Bush
How Long Can You Keep It Up?
Vacuum Bag
I Got Your Back
Low Blow
Mom's Gravy
Stocking Stuffer
North Pole
Meatpacker's Union
Chestnuts

 More Things
That SOUND
Naughty ??
Suck It Up
Suck It In
You Suck
Super Soaker
Party Nuts
Seersucker Suit
A Bird In The Bush
Experienced Pianist
Bobber
Smells Fishy
Pork Loins

.

=====

Ignorant, weak, religious people seem to think God is an entity, like an actual person living up in heaven looking down over all of us.
WE are all our own God. You are your God & I am mine. God is nothing more than our own conscious.
Throughout all of history religion has achieved nothing but massive death.
And what an incredible waste of time. We've all been brainwashed as children to believe this religious hogwash, which
instills nothing more than knowing what is right & what is wrong.
If any religion was worth one shit there wouldn't be so many of them.
If you believe in anything, Believe In YOURSELF

Besides, God only gets credit
for healing/saving people, & winning sporting events, even though both sides are shamlessly praying for the same outcome.

.

What about all the death & catastophe he allowed to happen in the
first place??

.

And what kind'a
f'n God kills
so many children ?

.

Who created
the life you live?
Who works for that life?
Who protects that life?
YOU

So Own It !!

...Jeez

 

 Even More Sad News...
My Hot Girlfriend,
Victoria's Secret
Mannequin Gwen,
Was Cought
Cheating On Me
With The New
Rubbermaid Kitchen
Trash Can

Things That
SOUND Naughty???
Nasty Crack
Gettin' Off?
Dick Vermeil
Little Squirt
Bun Warmer
Hot Pocket
Crystal Balls
Shaved Ice
Meet in the Middle
Come From Behind
Flap Jacks
Feeling A Little Chubby
Soft Taco
Helmet Head
Six In The Morning
Gum Balls
Humpin' To Please
Nice Spread
Honey Jar
Peel My Nanner?
Creamer

Jack's Off All Week
Wet Muffin
Wobbly Stool
Yummy Pickle
Asbestos
Saltpeter
Download/Upload

More Sponsors

012318

This Week's Curt's List
is Sponsored By
Eddie Mooney's Sax Repair
Specializing In
A-Hole & B-Hole Reaming
"Restoring Sax Lives
Is What We Do !!"

The W.E. Portion
of CurtsList.Com
Is Sponsored By
The Brunt of Millions
of Jokes for Decades
YO MAMA !!

Duh??

Week of 092717

This Week's Curt's List
is Sponsored By

The Often Overlooked,
But Just As Important,
Cousins - To The
Fun Kid's Toy
Stupid Putty
Disgruntled Putty
Bored Putty
Extra Flamboyant Putty
Listless & Lethargic Putty

This Week's Curt's List
is Sponsored By
The Original
Wall-To-Wall Carpet
Dirt

This Portion of Curt's List
is Sponsored By
The Following Words
That SOUND Dirty ??
Heavy Package
Outta' Plum
Skid Marks
Ball Joint
Bang It Out
Meat Rub
Spicy Sausage
Finger Tight Nuts
Dungerees

Hoobastank
Hockey Stick
Bare Naked Ladies
Knockers
Loose Dickey
Bloody Gash
Mom's Coming
Moist Taco

This Portion of Curt's List
is Sponsored By
Densmore Pontiac's Answer
To Tiled &/or Wooden Floors
Carpet Shoes



This Week's Curt's List
is Sponsored By:
Edna's Pie Hole
Dessert-teria

This Portion of Curt's List
is Sponsored By
Jenks' Shitty Furniture BBQ
Great BBQ But The
Shitty-est Chairs & Booths
You'll Ever Sit On

This Portion of Curt's List
is Sponsored By
Frank N. Beanz
Road-To-Table
Restaurants
(Road Kill Delicacies)

This Portion of Curt's List
is Sponsored By
The Following Words
That SOUND Dirty ??
Chicken Nuggets
Idaho
Lickety Split
Bell Ringer
Huge Manhole
Shag Carpet
Filthy Wood
Couscous

- - - - - - - -

.

- - - - - - - -

TOP

HOME



.

More Curt's List Sponsors
060518

Kemosabe Heat & Air
Tonto Blow
.
Heinz Failed
Marketing Ploys
Heinz Tomato Stuff
Heinz Tomato Goop
Heinz Tomato Squeezings
Heinz Tomato Guts
Heinz Tomato Laxative
.
Kemosabe Plumbing
Tonto Plunge

= = = = =

Ya wanna know who damages the Christian religion the worst ?
Far worse than any non-believer or Athiest ever could ? Preachers & Ministers that continue to peddle that brainwashing horse shit for nothing more than their mega-church profits. And those child raping, dress wearin', old, ass wipes called Priests. Each and every one of them needs to feel the business end of a few hundred baseball bats to the raping man-junk under those rediculous, fucking moo moo's they all wear.
And then sent to prison; where kid raping pieces of shit belong.

030119

= = = = =

Sponsors
101718

This Week's
Curt's List is
Sponsored By
Aladdin's Other
Home Furnishings
Aladdin's End Table
Aladdin's Dining
Room Hutch
Aladdin's Sleeper Sofa
Aladdin's Tv Stand
w/ Hidden Storage

-------
Sponsors
101318

This Week's
Curt's List
Is Sponsored By
Nick Jackalas'
World Touring
Celebrity Divot
Collection

The W.E. Portion
of CurtsList.Com
Is Sponsored By
BOXES !!
Just think
how many trips
you would have
to make, when
moving, without
them - Whoaaa...


Sunday's Curt's List
Is Being Brought
To You By
Oklahoma Weather
Never Boring
& Never The Same !!
You Have To Have
BIG Closets For Every
Season of Clothing
(Never Trust A
Ok Tv Weatherperson)

------

Sponsors
101018

This Week's
Curt's List
Is Sponsored By
Every Victoria's
Secret Commercial
Ever Made...
Bless You V.S.

The W.E. Portion
of CurtsList.Com
Is Sponsored By
Coffee Cups
Just Imagine
How Bad Our
Hands Would Be
Burned Drinking
Coffee Without
Them

Sponsors
120518

This Week's
Curt's List
Is Sponsored By
Eastside Moving Co.
"Two Primos & A
Wheelbarrow"

The W.E. Portion
of CurtsList.Com
Is Sponsored By
Cole Slaw's
Previous Failed
Name Selections
Cold Mall
Cob Slop
Cabbage Guts
Coal Saw

Saturday's
Curt's List
Is Being
Brought
To You By
Squirrels
Coz...Ain't
They Cute ?

Sunday's Curt's List
Is Being Brought
To You By
Oprah's Secret
32 Yr. Old
Bastard Son
Named After
The Wild Weekend
He Was Conceived
Sturgis Winfrey

Sponsors
112818

This Week's
Curt's List
Is Sponsored By
This Week's
Curt's List !!
Ain't It A
Dandy ??

The W.E. Portion
of CurtsList.Com
Is Sponsored By
BREAD
Frankenstein Say
"Bread Good..."
"Fire Baaaad !!"

Saturday's
Curt's List
Is Being
Brought
To You By
The Cheddar
Whales
That Ate
All My
Cheddar
Goldfish

Sunday's Curt's List
Is Being Brought
To You By
God's Natural
Laxative &
Totally Organic
Poop & Scoot
Cigars &
Hershey Bars

.

TOP

.

Another thing in life I've never
understood is Why do so many couples slap leather to make babies ?
Some of them seem to make babies just for the hell of it weather they can afford them or not, or even know, or trust, that their freakin' mate
is stable enough
or trustworthy enough
to even stick around. 

We only get one shot at this life.
Why in the hell are people in such
a f'n hurry to complicate the shit
out of their lives ??
Child care alone will cost at least
a thousand bux a month
per kid

My Theory: 99% of most people on this planet were accidents, yet no one will ever admit it.

Why can't people just enjoy their f'n lives without creating chaos ??

Just Say NO - People !! Grow a pair & just have some damn fun with your mate for a couple of years !! Unless you really want a 20 year setback of pain, grief, regret & no control over your own damn life.
Just wait a few years.
Or better yet
Just Don't Have Kids.

Just Say Fuk Dat !!

Most of these people (Breeders) - leave their parents &/or finish school & desparately, slap leather, searching for a mate - in every way possible including internet dating sites & bars because they can't handle being alone for any length of time whatsoever, although none of them will ever admit it. Then they find someone whom they claim is their f'n soulmate, whom they say they want to grow old with, whom they say they want to do sooo many great/fun things with. They spend an insane/idiotic amount of money getting married on stupid, meaningless rings, wedding dresses, cakes, dinners & other assorted stupid shit & then, before they even truly know each other & usually within a few months, they get pregnant, 99% by accident, although none of them will ever admit it, and throw every bit of that fairy tale bullshit right out the window.

Now they will do nothing they had planned, and see exactly no parts of the world as they begin supporting & nurturing a selfish, narrcissistic, conceited, completely helpless life form for the next 18 years, many of which will be spent doing every single thing for the little vegetable in their every waking hour, continuously smelling baby shit, spending untold stacks of money - including feeding it & basically keeping it alive, while trying to work, keep the bills paid, put food on the table, stay healthy, stay happy, keep the marriage going, and keep from getting shot.

Eventually, while going broke, and hurtling even faster toward eminent death, there might be a very small window in time of possible pleasentness, discovery & fun to experience, together, between the ages of 2-12. Ten whole years may be peaceful, loving, & full of adventure & learning opportunities. Daily teaching that poor child - YOUR religion, politics, lifestyle, values & personality along the way (Never once considering how fucked up You've been your entire life).

Sooner or later they will experience their loving gift from God (gag me) turn into a purely self centered, phone loving, totally entightled, teen parasite, that owes it's entire existance to nothing & no one but their parents, grow to hate them, redicule them, steal from them, & basically do everything it can to avoid &/or escape them, usually just to hook up with someone & have as much sex & drugs & booze as they possibly can. Finally, eighteen  long years have passed, including every cent you ever earned, every nice thing you ever cherished & every dream you ever had,
and...you...wonder...What the fuck happened to my f'n life ??
And most people just have more of
these sorry little leech fuckers, all while whining & complaining about them to anyone that will listen. As if life isn't hard enough all by itself. - It's not enough for them to toil for the rest of their lives just for food & shelter, but they have to create a clone of themselves that has no choice in the matter but to live that same life in a world that just keeps getting more & more crowded, competitive, polluted, crude, & violent. Most of these breeders like to blame it all on that 3000 yr. old book of fairytales that they were brainwashed into believing at church. They've never had an original thought in their sorry ass brains since they were spawned & do it because they think "You're Supposed To ????" The real culprit though is being unable to keep their naughty parts covered & unable to control their own junk.
We all just desperately want someone, anyone...to simply touch our pee pee's and we'll do anything to make it happen.

Including screwing up our entire lives.

Just...Say...NO...PEOPLE !!!

Humans..are..just..

SO..incredibly..stupid

Humans are worse than animals when spawning mouths to feed because we have a choice.

.

I can usually tell
when a date is over
when I get a face full
of pepper spray ?

I Sleep
In On
Sunday
Coz I Choose To
Worship
Cheeses !!

Sunday's Curt's List
Is Sponsored By
Densmore Pontiac's
Young Lady's
Anti-Perspirant
& Hair Remover
Which Begs
The Question
Why Don't
We Have
This Already ???

SHIT!! It's Only Monday ??
Jeez...this week
is draggin' ass


Thursday's Curt's List
Is Sponsored By
Oklahoma
A Stait Dat Kears
Mor 'Bout Beer
Gamblen & Relijen
Den Ejukashen

Ya gotta' enjoy listening
to our so-called state
leaders constantly whining
about Oklahoma's Education
Crisis when they themselves
have screwed each and every good teacher we ever had out of every ounce of faith they could still muster after decades of endless, empty promises as they packed and fled Oklahoma to never look back.

And what's really sad is
the comparibly overwelming
support for beer in this state. Have you ever stopped to notice just how much Tulsa values beer? It's F'n Everywhere. We have Festivals devoted to it.
And the brewery population
has grown by 1000% in 2 years. Just one penny from each beer purchase in this sorry state & there'd be no more f'n Education Crisis

Sunday's Curt's List
Is Sponsored By
Imagine If You Will...
A Bald
Pie-Eyed
Over Weight
Weirdo, Spinning
His Arm Around
And Yelling
So Loud
The Neighbor's
Baby Starts
To Cry
"DO YOU DREAM OF
LOSING WEIGHT?
THEN WAKE GRANDMA
DAD, THE DOG
& THE KIDS 'CAUSE
YOU'RE GONNA
WANNA HEAR THIS!!!"
"FOLKS, DENSMORE
PONTIAC's
GUARANTEE'D
SCIENTIFICALLY
PROVEN
DIET PLAN
IS ALL YOU NEED
You Heard Right!!
DENSMORE'S
100% GUARANTEE'D
DIET PLAN
CAN BE YOUR'S
IF YOU ACT NOW !!!
IF I'M LYIN' I'M DYIN?'
IF I'M CHOKIN' I'M CROAKIN'
Yep !! Densmore
Will Personally
Come & TAKE
All of Your
Food!!
YESSIR !!
YESSIR !!
YESSIR !!
ARM SPIN - ARM SPIN
ALL OF IT !!
Don't Hesitate
Don't Flatulate
Getcha', Getcha'
I Said Getcha'
SOME DENSMORE
TO-DAY!!!"

So....
When people
say Holy Jesus
I'm pretty sure
they mean his
hands & feet...

The W.E. Portion
of CurtsList.Com
Is Sponsored By
Thelma Sue Goochie's
Genuine, Artificial
Spam-Hide Purses
Pocketbooks, Belts
& Fanny Holsters

This Week's
Curt's List Is
Sponsored By
Sag Harbour
Retirement
Community's
Custom Walker
and Tricked-Out
Wheelchair
Show & Concert
Fet: The Bessie
Crumm Bed Pan
Quartet w/ Stan
Loogie on the
Magazine Leg
Whackin'

The W.E. Portion
of Curt's List
Is Sponsored By?
That Big
Sweet Thing
In My Jeans !!
Whoaaa...
I Don't know
what YOU were
thinkin', but
I was talkin'
'bout a full
size Snicker's
Candy Bar !!
Jeebus...shame
on Y'all

Sunday's Curt's List
Is Sponsored By
COX
Spencer,
Claude, & The
Husky Boy
Dancers
Down At
The "Manhole"
LOVE COX

This Week's
Curt's List
Is Sponsored By
Jerry R. B. Bob Christ
Jesus' Distant
(Redneck)
Cousin (Claims)
Whom
Currently Holds
The Mannford
Record For
Most Collected
& Impressive
Bar Coasters
AND
Misspelled Tattoos

The W.E. Portion
of CurtsList.Com
Is Sponsored By
The Pending
Lawsuit By
King Kong
The King Kong
Family, & Entire
King Kong Estate
Against Quentin
Tarantino; Alleging
King Kong Was
The Orig. Django
Unchained &
Quentin Stole
His Story


The W.E. Portion
of CurtsList.Com
Is Sponsored By
Pinosh Gulong's
India Sounding
Sand Springs
Call Center
& Baby Goat
Heavy Petting Zoo

Sunday's Curt's List
Is Sponsored By
Beau Loney's
Pop-Up
Steak House
Out By Exit 73
Next To The
Big Cow Ranch
w/ Missing Stock


Smefus Andretti's
Seasonal
Door to Door
Training Wheel
Installation
&/or Parole
Requirement

Dijon Grub, Poon Baton
Little Oprah, & The Rest
of The Lollypop Guild
Dancers Down At
"The Wizard Of Odds"
Dinner Theater


Sunday's
Curt's List
Is Sponsored By
The Amazon Alternate
Gold Chain & A Nine's
"IMAWANT"
On-Line Market
You Axe For It
& We'll Get It
In 'bout
A Week;
D'liver'd In
Mah Trunk
As-Is
Yo

This is me when I gotta' pee

.

A couple of
Kenny Wayne Shepherd's
Fender Strats.

...
The Two pix above, are of the Fender Eric Clapton Signature Series Stratocaster "Blackie".To View the faithful Original Fender Custom ShopReproduction of "Blackie" check out: fender.com/features/blackie/blackie.In 1970, Clapton bought a handful of Stratocasters, Telecasters, and various other Fenders for $100.00 each at the Sho-Bud shop in Nashville, Tennessee. He took them back to England and gave one to George Harrison, one to Steve Winwood, and one to Pete Townshend. Clapton disassembled the remaining three and constructed "Blackie" out of the best components from each of them.
The Album "Slowhand" - 1977 - Showcases & is dedicated to Eric's Beloved "Blackie".
Recording the album "Slowhand" and the following 'Slowhand Tour' consisted of a band with a rhythm section comprised of three TULSA Musicians,...as Clapton became infatuated with The Tulsa Sound.
Clapton's Rhythm Section:
Dick Sims - Keyboards
Carl Radle - Bass
Jamie Oldaker - Drums
Check out Clapton's Steady Rollin' Man from 461 Ocean Blvd. which featured this Tulsa Rhythm Section - 11th song, within my Blues Music pg. http://curtslist.com/blues_music

.TOP



.

.

.

.

Click the above banner for Map of Tulsa

.

The Stone's - Keith Richards

 TOP

= = = = = =

.

Curt's List
Sponsors

122017

This Week's
Curt's List is Sponsored By
Jimmy Buffett’s
"Summertime Blues"
28th Annual 17 Hr.
Find-A-Cure Telethon
Ya Gott'a
F'n Help
Jimmy's Kids!!

Also Suggested:

And For God's Sake Don't Stuff The Sweaty Pet!

•  •  •  •

The W.E. Portion
of CurtsList.Com
Is Sponsored By
That Naughty
Sounding Cornhole
Game

Sunday's Curt's List
Is Being Brought
To You By
COX
4 Out of
Every 5
Ladies in
T-Town
Love COX

This Portion of Curt's List
Is Sponsored By
Wall Mart
Big Walls
Little Walls
Concrete Walls
Wooden Walls
Pet/Kid Walls
Glass Walls
Steel Walls
Jagged Border Walls
Portable Walls
Paper Walls
Plastic Walls
Walls Made
From Other Walls
You Need Walls?
We Got Walls !!!

.
This Portion of Curt's List
Is Sponsored By
Domino's Empty
Pizza Box Delivery
For Busy, Lifestyle
Conscious, People On Diets

This Portion of Curt's List
is Sponsored By
Things That
Sound Naughty??
Balmy
Cheese Balls
Asparagus
Huge Pianist
Kum & Go
Yummy Taco
Jack's Off All Week
Nasty Crack
2 Works For You
Broke Hose
Come On Eilene

More Curt's List Sponsors
041218


Willie Bob Thorton's
2,127 Celebrity Rocker
Gig Sock Collection
(382 of them belong
to David Lee Roth)

 Mexican Flasher
SENOR WOOD

That Broke Dick
Universal Men's
Clinic Spokesman

New Clorox Scrubbing
Bubbles Toilet Paper
Clean Your Pooter
& The Porcelain Scooter
In One Easy Step !!!

New At The Mall
w/a 12,000 Sq. Ft.
Showroom
House of Tongs

This Week's Curt's List
Is Sponsored By:
Flannel Shirts, Work Boots
& Cargo Shorts For 'Husky/Masculine' Ladies
By Liz Beehan
& Connie Lingus 

+  +  +  +



When I go shopping at a WalMart(HELL-Mart)
I like to put on their finest fluffy houseshoes & coziest bathrobe, get a package of  burritos & a six pack of beer.I overcook the burritos in the best microwave oven I can find and then I take my time looking at crap, eating burritos & drinkin' beer.
Mmmmmm...shopping...cmf

+  +  +  +

.Isn't THIS

Fascinating??

.

= = = = = =

061718

The Problem
With Supporting
Chronic Liars
Is That You
Were Lied To
FIRST


The W.E. Portion
of Curt's List
is Sponsored By
Avis Stapler
Who's Hit Blues Song
"I Passed Out
This Mornin'
And My Baby
Come Back"
Has just Gone
Plastic!!
(Over 200
Copies Sold)

Saturday's Curt's List
Is Being Brought
To You By
Nuns !!
Yeah Nuns !!
Why they called Nuns?
'Coz they get - Nun
Who else but old, frustrated
women gonna' wear
those rediculous outfits?
.
Sunday's Curt's List
Is Being Brought
To You By
The Lack of Clothing
Girls Wear in the Summer
BLESS YOU - SUMMER !!

+  +  +  +Cheech & Chong's
Nationwide Cannabis
Recycling Centers
"Don't just throw
it away man !!"
"We'll...uh...
recycle it mannn !!"